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The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts "Voodoo Dick, the door!" The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. "Voodoo Dick, the lamp!" The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier's desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. A lady was in the stirrups at her gynecologist's office having her annual checkup, when she heard the doctor talking to himself as he examined her: "My, what a big vagina! My, what a big vagina!" The lady was, to put it mildly, a bit annoyed. Being the assertive type she spoke up immediately: "Doctor, I can't believe what I'm hearing! Let's hear your best "my penis is so big" jokes. My dick is so big that at birth, instead of spanking me, the doctor smashed me with a bottle of champagne. 41 comments. share. save hide report. I got this great joke about my penis, but it's too long. level 1. 3 points 5 years ago.
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A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside.
The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle.
Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box.
She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina.
A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. A penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess. His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole. His best friend is a pussy. And his owner beats him. A man decides on a day that it is time to buy a pet. He goes to the pet store, looks around and sees a beautiful parrot, sitting quietly on a stick in his cage.